Cheerio! (and probably Cheerios too)

So, unemployment has been treating me well. After a wonderful week at the lake with LC and EA, I've come back to the real world of working out, watching television, throwing dinner parties, and applying to jobs that sound oh-so-good only to be completely ignored (think, admissions counselor at your alma mater and a entry level advertising job at the biggest and the best ad firm on the west coast.) Even so, I am irrepressible.

In the midst of all this, I got a visit that shook up my daily routine. Enter, my favorite uncle, his wife, and their two children. They are coming to stay with my family for a month while they prepare to move for my uncle's job. The kids are absolutely beautiful, tri-lingual (English, Italian, and German) and they are a 100% certified handful. If I could bottle the energy they exude, I would not only have a job, but also be running a small country. So for the past week or so, my days have been consumed with splashing around a baby pool, chasing children around the house, changing diapers, trips to the ER for ear infections, making snacks, packing strollers, trips to yogurtland (but that's more for me) and lots and lots of telling stories. Now, by no means am I a nanny, but I am an older sister, so this isn't too new of an experience for me.

Still, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to find my uncle saying to my mother, "Well if you would pay for the airfare with your miles, we could feasibly pay, oh $100-$200 a day, and she could live with us and help out with the kids, and after a while, she could see if something else strikes her fancy, or I could help her find a job."

Now, before you say "Ugh, a nanny job, really?" keep in mind, we are related so the kids like me well enough, they are moving to a pretty sizeable house where I would live for free....and it's in ENGLAND. (All of my friends know that in addition to my love of travel, tea, and scarves, I have a very acute weakness for boys with British accents. Bonus.)

$100 to watch kids I like in a foreign country, while finding a job? Um, yes please.
So it's not for sure, just like any other job opportunity I've had in the past year, but it's definitely a tempting option, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Perhaps the unemployment blues are at an end??? We'll see.

~JR

I take it back.

Oh, hey there, Mr. Rejection Letter.



That is all.




I'm going to go work on my new cardboard-box home under the pier.
I suspect it's going to come in handy soon.

LC

I KNEW going to high school would come in handy!

Finally! The perfect job for me...one I'm COMPLETELY qualified for, is exciting, and suits me perfectly. It's a stretch to say it's what I majored in, but in my current situation, this is the best I've seen.

Okay, it's a staff position at the high school I graduated from. But I'd be wrangling alumni, covering events, designing year-end report materials...AND I'm an alumni! So perfect. Granted, every alumni since the school opened will probably be applying, along with whoever else is qualified and unemployed in the area. I had to submit an application, resume, three essays, and four letters of rec (including school affiliates), though...maybe they're just weeding out the people who REALLY want it?

I have a good feeling, kids.

LC

A Little Whine and a Tip

It's been a quite a discouraging day of applying for the perfect job. For starters, it's at my alma matar, which I love, with people I know, in a department I completely embodied as an undergrad. I spent 4 hours perfecting my application, resume, and cover letter, only to recieve a message at the end of all of it saying "Thank you for you interest in this position. Based upon your response to the supplementary application questionnaire, you do not meet the minimum qualifications for this position. Please do not let this discourage you from applying for other positions that interest you."

Translation: Sorry, on the question where it asked if you have a master's or are enrolled in a master's program, you clicked 'no'. So nope, we're not even gonna look at your application.

Let's just say, a great amount of patience is the reason I still have a computer to post this blog update on. It was almost out the window.

At any rate, that's not what today's post is about. No friends, instead I am here with a fUN-employment tip! That's right, a fun thing to keep you busy when you aren't banging your head against the wall of jobs that you can't get!

So here it is: In So-Cal there are a million aspiring photographers, because there are so many pretty people and things to take pictures of. Chances are, you're pals with one of these friendly photogs. Enter fUN-employment tip- Trade your photographer friend a free meal (or other legal service) in exchange for having them do your pictures. It's fun, you get dressed up, you pick a cool location, they get food and experience, and it's free!

Also, if you live in the LA/or Hollywierd scene like some of us RamenDiary gals, they're asking you to send a headshot with almost all of your resumes these days. While I personally think it's bizarre to submit a full body shot of myself to be able to sell vacuum cleaners, or make a venti chai latte, you're one step ahead of the game if you've already got some great professional pictures on hand.

Best of all, if they're really good, or you're really good-looking, maybe one of you gets famous!

Word to the wise though, be careful how much creative direction your artsy photographer friend gets with the pics. I recently vetoed a request to do a shoot wearing fishnets. Remember, pictures say a thousand words. And usually, pictures of you in fishnets don't say the words "I'm responsible, smart and hardworking, so hire me."

~JR

Wake up call or lost cause....not sure which.

Well, here I am, less than a month out of college. The sparkle of graduation is gone and the money that came in all those cards from relatives is starting to dwindle.

That's right, I'm looking for a real job now.

As far as firsts go, I think yesterday was a pretty interesting experience. The last couple of days have been in depth attempts to find jobs online, looking everywhere from craigslist, to monster, to www.onedayonejob.com (if you haven't heard of this, go look it up right now. I can't be selfish and keep it to myself). Anyway, imagine hours and hours spent with my laptop, searching for jobs, while simultaneously watching Lifetime movies...It's bound to make you a little desperate. So, in spite of having applied to several decent jobs close to where i live, I also applied for an entry level job as a catering administrative assistant at a Marriott Hotel almost an hour away. With how much it paid, I'd have to live in my car because I would only be able to afford gas and groceries, not rent. Nevertheless, I applied online, and got a message saying that open interviews were going to be held the following afternoon, and decided if nothing else, it would be good practice. So feeling pleased that I had my first real job interview, I laid out my shiny happy interview clothes, and went to bed.

The next day, I got in my car and drove an hour to the hotel. It was in an unfortunately hot part of town, and my shiny happy interview clothes were not quite as cute by the time I arrived. I walked into the hotel and was directed to a back room, where most hotel guests don't ever get to go. It should have been exciting but it wasn't.

Now, I'm not slacker by any means, but I got to the open interview about an hour and half before they were supposed to end. I figured I'd just waited out the early birds and the people who thought they'd come interview for this job during lunch time. So, I was a little shocked to see that there were 40 people lined up waiting to be interviewed.

I stood quietly in line for a sec, weighing my options. Finally I asked the guy next to me if there was a place to sign in somewhere. "Oh, you just need to give them your resume, but they stopped signing people in for interviews about an hour ago", he replied. "How long have you been here?" I asked curiously. "Since 11:30 this morning", he sighed boredly.

I knocked on the HR door, dropped off my interview and left. It's a good thing I didn't want that job too badly. Thirty-nine other people sure did.

-

...How Low Will You Go?

A few weeks ago, I was at a crosswalk as some friends and I were heading home after a long night when a man came up and asked my name. He was relentless...which is flattering, yes....but a little creepy. He seemed nice enough, and after exchanging a few words he asked if he could call me. Needing to get home, I reluctantly agreed.

Fast forward to three weeks later when, after ignoring his phone calls and texts, I receive an exasperated "So...do you like it when boys contact you, when in fact you're completely set on never responding? I'm curious." ...to which I felt like a terrible person for ignoring this poor man and responded (Bad Idea #1?). The rest of the conversation played out approximately like this:

Me: I know. I'm really sorry. It's not that i'm set on never responding...and I'm not a mean person, really...I just don't know what to say, exactly.
Him: How many guys are you currently seeing?
M: Zero...my God, that's not even it. You really do have me all wrong!
H: Well, you're misunderstanding M. See, when I met you you didn't seem like a girl who doesn't know how to communicate.
M: It's true. I'm a terrible communicator these days. Too many balls in the air, you know?
H: Why are you giving me a hard time? Do you work?
M: Mmmm...I'm at job #4 now, actually...And I'm carrying 23 college units.
H: Do you want to make some extra money?

...And so it began.
He called me later that night (picking up = Bad Idea #2?) and his job pitch, before he even knew what I was majoring in, involved him telling me what he did (he holds two very high-paying and moderately high-powered positions) and that he needed an assistant. You know, to "go to events, take notes...maybe be my date. Run errands..."

He then proceeds to explain that he'd pay be $50 an hour.
...and that he couldn't see why he wouldn't throw in a $1000/week shopping bonus.

The conversation got slightly creepier thereafter...but the question remains:
I'm to the point where I can barely buy groceries...and $2000/week would be INCREDIBLE...but am I "ESCORT" material?! That's what it sounds like to me. Is this even legal? Oh, the ethical ramifications!

The saga continues when I go out with this character tomorrow night. (Bad Idea #3?)
I'll fill you in then.

LC

This isn't desperation it's...trying new things?

So admittedly, I'm getting a little panicky about finding a job. 28 days til graduation and I need to find a way to start supporting myself ASAP. As a result I'm starting to find myself considering jobs I never thought I would want to do.
No, I haven't resorted to taking my clothes off for money...yet. But I have considered starting a social networking site for strippers where they can share advice, bikini waxing remedies, tricks of the trade, etc. Obviously it would be called strippertips.com, but I digress.
No, but in my feverish search for employment I have considered, and applied to some real interesting ones:
Desperate act 1: JDate.com Travel and Event Planning Coordinator
This might not actually be so bad. I am single, so I obviously can relate to everyone who is looking for love out there. I have put on speed dating events before. This can't be too much different, right? Hope they can overlook the fact that I am a) terrified of internet dating, and b) not the least bit Jewish.
On the upside, I love a good latke, and I secretly want to have a Jewish wedding solely so that we can do the chair dance. I'll keep you all posted on whether I make the grade on this one. Oy vey.
Slightly more desperate act 2: Event coordinating Job for a "Themed- supper/ Social Club"
From the title alone, you know there's something unique about this job. Well, before I get to that, here are some details. Paid travel, healthcare, room and board (that's obviously the draw for me personally), fast paced, event planning and restaurant management type work, 13 week contracts, $4,000 a month. So what's the catch, you ask?

It's on a military base. In Baghdad. As in Iraq.

That's right, people. I voluntarily applied to throw themed dinners in the middle of the Iraqi desert. The thing is, it's really not so bad. I grew up on military bases my whole life (Army brats unite!) and there's actually something comforting and safe about living in this little self contained American city in the middle of a foreign country. Not to mention, how cool would it be to say that I've lived and worked in the middle east?

So maybe the lack of food in my fridge has led to a starvation delirium, in which I'm willing to do almost Anything for money, but times are hard, and I'm definitely not ruling anything out. Except maybe stripping. We'll see.

-JR

CEOs Just Love That Heroin

Soooo...nothing like the first big "real job" interview, huh?
I was tipped off on this marketing and media blogging position that I was incredibly qualified for by a coworker, and got called for an interview 24hours after sending in my resume. I won't lie; I was warned that the woman who ran the company was "a little quirky" and had completely hated every interviewee before me, but I felt pretty prepared for what I would be dealing with.

Oh, boy.

Enter small production company office, day. Sat for a while on an old couch in front of an incredibly unorganized receptionist desk before the Company CEO called me in. First, understand this woman was of some unrecognizable age: too much work done on the lips and nose to really tell. Matted hair, kind of shaky, itching like crazy. Now, I don't know a lot about the side effects of recreational drugs...but this woman WAS NOT just "quirky".

She was completely hunched over and for every question she asked, I had to repeat my answer 3-6 times before it clicked. Funnily enough, she seemed to kind of like me (as much as I could tell from creepy twitchy smiles and the occasional jerky nod). When asked about my availablility and if I could start immediately, I told her that I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks...I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks...I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks. She finally called in the receptionist to translate/write down a "chart" for her. After sitting down next to me, she wrote "8am-1pm for next 3 weeks" and was dismissed.

Pretty psyched for things to be looking so good, I was only slightly put off when my (continually itchy) prospective employer first asked if I was SURE I wouldn't be interested in interning("work for me for free?", anyone?! Nope, I'm done with that biz), then let me know that she had to discuss salary with the other company heads and that she would be back to me the next day. As she stood up to give me a nice limp handshake I noticed that A) she probably weighed 82 lbs and that B) her right forearm was covered in blood.


Yep, no...looks like I'll be unemployed for a little longer, then.

LC