The Fear

I feel like a bad mother right now. The Ramen Diaries have been so severely neglected these past couple of months, that I don't even know where to begin.

I suppose the best place to begin, is by telling you that all four of us RD girls now have jobs in some form or another. The second best place to begin, is to tell you that "some form or another" means not what we majored in during college. Surprised? Us too.

So, I've been gainfully employed and living somewhat independently for about three months, and I was starting to feel very self-satisfied, but alas, what I like to refer to as The Fear has been setting in.

What is The Fear you ask? It's the ominous feeling you get when you wake up in the middle of the night and wonder whether you will be doing this same job in seven years when you're 29. It's the slight panic you feel when your mother calls to ask if you're interested in a celebrity event planning internship, that you know you can't take because now you have bills and a lease, and houseplants. It's the wistful feeling that nags you a little when you see college students making plans to go abroad for a year. That's The Fear. (The Fear also rears it's head in a different way everytime I hear that someone I know is getting married or having a baby, but that's another subject altogether, and it might be called 'Biologcal Clock').

So I'm currently at a crossroads. I waffle back and forth between combatting The Fear, and ignoring it. Fighting The Fear involves making To-Do lists that involve moving to the Dominican Republic, going to culinary school, painting a masterpiece, and starting, yet another, blog that will eventually be turned into a multi-million dollar book deal. There are half a dozen or so of these lists scattereed around my home, car and office. I have to believe that this is better than ignoring The Fear, which consists of going home after work and watching the Kardashians marathon on E! until I pass out.

No one said that graduating and having a job was going to be easy, but no one said anything about this either.

For now, I'm an administrative coordinator, moonlighting as the next best thing...

~JR