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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Fear

I feel like a bad mother right now. The Ramen Diaries have been so severely neglected these past couple of months, that I don't even know where to begin.

I suppose the best place to begin, is by telling you that all four of us RD girls now have jobs in some form or another. The second best place to begin, is to tell you that "some form or another" means not what we majored in during college. Surprised? Us too.

So, I've been gainfully employed and living somewhat independently for about three months, and I was starting to feel very self-satisfied, but alas, what I like to refer to as The Fear has been setting in.

What is The Fear you ask? It's the ominous feeling you get when you wake up in the middle of the night and wonder whether you will be doing this same job in seven years when you're 29. It's the slight panic you feel when your mother calls to ask if you're interested in a celebrity event planning internship, that you know you can't take because now you have bills and a lease, and houseplants. It's the wistful feeling that nags you a little when you see college students making plans to go abroad for a year. That's The Fear. (The Fear also rears it's head in a different way everytime I hear that someone I know is getting married or having a baby, but that's another subject altogether, and it might be called 'Biologcal Clock').

So I'm currently at a crossroads. I waffle back and forth between combatting The Fear, and ignoring it. Fighting The Fear involves making To-Do lists that involve moving to the Dominican Republic, going to culinary school, painting a masterpiece, and starting, yet another, blog that will eventually be turned into a multi-million dollar book deal. There are half a dozen or so of these lists scattereed around my home, car and office. I have to believe that this is better than ignoring The Fear, which consists of going home after work and watching the Kardashians marathon on E! until I pass out.

No one said that graduating and having a job was going to be easy, but no one said anything about this either.

For now, I'm an administrative coordinator, moonlighting as the next best thing...


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Confessions of a New Hire

Well readers, it's finally happened. I have a job, and I'm relieved. Mostly.

I was fortunate enough to get a job at the university where I attended undergrad, with people I know, doing something I like, and making a decent living.

The thing about getting the thing you want most, is that once you have it, you start to wonder what you have left to strive for. Truthfully, it's not what I went to school for, and not at all what I envisioned myself doing once I graduated college. But just to be clear, I consider myself extremely lucky to work for a such a prestigious university, especially given the economic issue at hand.

Still, the night before my first day of work, I lie awake wondering, after months of agonizing, and practically begging for a job, any job, doing far worse things, if I'd taken the path of least resistance. By taking this job, was I giving up my dreams of owning a PR firm, or curating a gallery, or starting a magazine, or running a bed and breakfast? (bear in mind, I only went to school for one of those things.) Was I selling myself short to make money and work in a comfortable, familiar and friendly environment? Was I stalling my future by turning back to college? I struggled with these questions until the wee hours of the morning, and somewhere in between falling asleep and waking up for work, it dawned on me.

This job is all just part of the journey. It's something I enjoy, I have experience in, and I'm good at. So why not? I'm not giving anything up. I'm just on my way there, and I think along the way, I'm going to learn a lot. I'm not settling for what's practical, I'm preparing for what's ahead, and figuring out how to be the best where I am right now. As for my fear and self doubts about moving backwards instead of forward, working at a college is a far different experience from attending one...and after a week, I'm finding I like it. The responsibility, the feeling of being needed and respected.

I'm not in anyway implying that I know what I'm doing in life. But like so many recent grads in my position, I'm learning that the life you make for yourself, might be just as great as the one you've imagined, if you'll only have the courage to live it and find out. It's new and it's frightening, and I have no business casual outfits, but I'm going to try.

Lastly, this is by no means the end of my Ramen Days. I'm still a girl who buys work slacks at Ross, accessories at Forever 21, and eats mac 'n cheese straight from the pot. I haven't hit met all yet, but I'm sure there are more stressed out/single/poor-girl, post-grad crises and triumphs waiting just around the bend.

And, yeah, you'll hear all about them.


Monday, August 10, 2009

Recap from the Blog-Slacker

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Since May 2, 2009, I have been officially contributing to the unemployment rate. Today, my first day of work, I remove myself from that statistic. But before I excite you with my success story, allow me to entertain you with the numerous failures that led to it. 

I will lead with the fact that things generally work out for me. I'm not bragging, I'm just being honest. I got into the college I wanted to, excelled, made friends, went abroad, and graduated in four too-short years; then, the economy crashed. I guess I was due. 

With the shrinking job market, I frantically started to look for jobs. To my good fortune, a few of them contacted me to schedule an interview.  I went to my very first interview on the Monday after my graduation. I should have realized what I was getting myself into when the company contacted me within 24 hours of receiving my application. My interview went as follows:

Job Interview #1, listed on Monster as "Event Marketing Brand Manager"

Donning my newest white pant suit from Nordstrom, I walk into the smallest office I have ever seen. There are already six people my age in the waiting area filling out forms, most of them wearing jeans. As the receptionist hands me a clipboard with a form to fill out, I sneak a peak at her computer. I see an Excel Sheet with a schedule; interviews are scheduled at every 10-minute interval from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm. Awesome. 

When it's my turn, a man named Jimmy leads me to his office. He shakes my hand, looks at my resume, and begins to tell me about a type of car wax that also washes. Light bulb. This is what I would be selling from a booth at State Fair type events. After about three minutes of rapid fire questions concerning my ambitions to have an office like Jimmy's and to manage people who sell car wax (the company's one product), he invites me to a second interview the following day in which I would be attending an event with other "managers." He asks if I had any questions. I say, "That was quick." He says, "That's how I do interviews." I say, "It was nice to meet you," and walk out. I called the company from a Starbucks on my way home to cancel the next interview. Back to square one.

Interviews #2-3: Heartbreak

After a few weeks of applications (now weeding through the dozens of companies like Jimmy's)
I receive a phone call from my Mothership, Conde Nast Publications. I had applied months earlier to an entry level position and was finally being contacted for an interview. Jackpot. To make a long story short, after making it through two rounds of interviews and telling my references to be ready to be contacted, the job went to someone with experience. I may have cried. But not to be dismayed, I scheduled an interview the very next day from a company who had contacted me while I waited to hear from Conde Nast: Playboy.

Interview # 4: Porn?

OK, so it wasn't exactly Playboy, it was a company that did ad sales for them... although they did give me a Playboy to read as I sat in the waiting room. Enlightening. It turned out to be another no-go as the women whom I was supposed to meet with remained on a conference call the entire time I was there and I had to meet with Irene, a woman who had never conducted an interview before. I struggled to go through my resume while she explained to me the office hours (9-5, Monday thru Friday... does this call for explanation?) instead of asking me questions. I left knowing I would never be contacted.

Today: Employed

You may be wondering how four failed interviews eventually led me to employment. I'll tell you. I was contacted by a company in my hometown Blackfoot, Idaho, looking for a West Coast marketing manager to work with brokers for its new product- a job that is far beyond entry level and probably far beyond my qualifications. The company would allow me to live in Southern California (my home for the past four years), and do marketing for a product in that region. How did I land this job, you ask? My dad hired me. It's his company, and a company I never thought I would be working for, but here I am, doing a job that will hopefully be rewarding and challenging while I am able to live amongst my wonderful college friends in a place that is perpetually sunny. I am blessed. 

My following posts will document the trials, challenges, and hopefully little victories as I begin my journey through my very first big kid job. I continue to question what my true ambitions are, and hope that this opportunity will allow me to find them-whether it be in this industry or in something completely different. 

And now, back to work. 


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Unemployment Hits the Big Time.

Soooo, Hollywood...I've just graduated...and my life has taken quite the turn. Want to rub it in?


If you've recently graduated, have had to move back in with your parents, are having a tough time landing a decent job and find yourself with too much time on your hands, this movie seems to have been made for you. "Post Grad" is about a girl moving home and experiencing the "Real World" for the first time in four years. It's being put out by Fox Searchlight, which tends to release the indie-flick types of movies I love, but stars Alexis Bledel (AKA "That Gilmore Girls Chick") who I usually find a little boring. Okay. A lot boring.

A movie about a girl moving back with her weirdo family as she tries to get a man, a job, and an idea about where her life is going might turn out to be a cheese-fest...OR might turn out to be just be the thing I need right now. We'll see on August 21 - right as summer starts to draw to a close and it truly starts to sink in that nope, I REALLY won't be going back to school this year.

Stay tuned for a lengthy review, kids!


Monday, July 27, 2009

Cheerio! (and probably Cheerios too)

So, unemployment has been treating me well. After a wonderful week at the lake with LC and EA, I've come back to the real world of working out, watching television, throwing dinner parties, and applying to jobs that sound oh-so-good only to be completely ignored (think, admissions counselor at your alma mater and a entry level advertising job at the biggest and the best ad firm on the west coast.) Even so, I am irrepressible.

In the midst of all this, I got a visit that shook up my daily routine. Enter, my favorite uncle, his wife, and their two children. They are coming to stay with my family for a month while they prepare to move for my uncle's job. The kids are absolutely beautiful, tri-lingual (English, Italian, and German) and they are a 100% certified handful. If I could bottle the energy they exude, I would not only have a job, but also be running a small country. So for the past week or so, my days have been consumed with splashing around a baby pool, chasing children around the house, changing diapers, trips to the ER for ear infections, making snacks, packing strollers, trips to yogurtland (but that's more for me) and lots and lots of telling stories. Now, by no means am I a nanny, but I am an older sister, so this isn't too new of an experience for me.

Still, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to find my uncle saying to my mother, "Well if you would pay for the airfare with your miles, we could feasibly pay, oh $100-$200 a day, and she could live with us and help out with the kids, and after a while, she could see if something else strikes her fancy, or I could help her find a job."

Now, before you say "Ugh, a nanny job, really?" keep in mind, we are related so the kids like me well enough, they are moving to a pretty sizeable house where I would live for free....and it's in ENGLAND. (All of my friends know that in addition to my love of travel, tea, and scarves, I have a very acute weakness for boys with British accents. Bonus.)

$100 to watch kids I like in a foreign country, while finding a job? Um, yes please.
So it's not for sure, just like any other job opportunity I've had in the past year, but it's definitely a tempting option, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Perhaps the unemployment blues are at an end??? We'll see.


Faking How the Other Half Lives

Good Morning, minimum-wage slaves to an economy that won't allow you a "real" job! Look, there is no reason why we can't experience some of the finer things, too. I've just unearthed something magical. The lovelies over at http://www.fancyfastfood.com/ have developed a method to allow even the most impoverished individual to feel like they are livin' the good life. Think Creme Brulee made out of Dunkin' Donuts or Fancy Corn Chowder made out of a KFC Family meal. Pure and utter brilliance.

(Beware: No one's promising health-conciousness here. A Big Mac by any other name is still...well, you know.)

Stay Fancy!
(Courtesy of fancyfastfood.com)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I take it back.

Oh, hey there, Mr. Rejection Letter.

That is all.

I'm going to go work on my new cardboard-box home under the pier.
I suspect it's going to come in handy soon.


Thursday, July 2, 2009

I KNEW going to high school would come in handy!

Finally! The perfect job for me...one I'm COMPLETELY qualified for, is exciting, and suits me perfectly. It's a stretch to say it's what I majored in, but in my current situation, this is the best I've seen.

Okay, it's a staff position at the high school I graduated from. But I'd be wrangling alumni, covering events, designing year-end report materials...AND I'm an alumni! So perfect. Granted, every alumni since the school opened will probably be applying, along with whoever else is qualified and unemployed in the area. I had to submit an application, resume, three essays, and four letters of rec (including school affiliates), though...maybe they're just weeding out the people who REALLY want it?

I have a good feeling, kids.


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Little Whine and a Tip

It's been a quite a discouraging day of applying for the perfect job. For starters, it's at my alma matar, which I love, with people I know, in a department I completely embodied as an undergrad. I spent 4 hours perfecting my application, resume, and cover letter, only to recieve a message at the end of all of it saying "Thank you for you interest in this position. Based upon your response to the supplementary application questionnaire, you do not meet the minimum qualifications for this position. Please do not let this discourage you from applying for other positions that interest you."

Translation: Sorry, on the question where it asked if you have a master's or are enrolled in a master's program, you clicked 'no'. So nope, we're not even gonna look at your application.

Let's just say, a great amount of patience is the reason I still have a computer to post this blog update on. It was almost out the window.

At any rate, that's not what today's post is about. No friends, instead I am here with a fUN-employment tip! That's right, a fun thing to keep you busy when you aren't banging your head against the wall of jobs that you can't get!

So here it is: In So-Cal there are a million aspiring photographers, because there are so many pretty people and things to take pictures of. Chances are, you're pals with one of these friendly photogs. Enter fUN-employment tip- Trade your photographer friend a free meal (or other legal service) in exchange for having them do your pictures. It's fun, you get dressed up, you pick a cool location, they get food and experience, and it's free!

Also, if you live in the LA/or Hollywierd scene like some of us RamenDiary gals, they're asking you to send a headshot with almost all of your resumes these days. While I personally think it's bizarre to submit a full body shot of myself to be able to sell vacuum cleaners, or make a venti chai latte, you're one step ahead of the game if you've already got some great professional pictures on hand.

Best of all, if they're really good, or you're really good-looking, maybe one of you gets famous!

Word to the wise though, be careful how much creative direction your artsy photographer friend gets with the pics. I recently vetoed a request to do a shoot wearing fishnets. Remember, pictures say a thousand words. And usually, pictures of you in fishnets don't say the words "I'm responsible, smart and hardworking, so hire me."


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It Could be Worse

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Temping: An Update

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a blanket statement:

Although somewhat flattering, it's never a good thing when you go in to an intervew with your potential new bosses, and before you can even make yourself comfortable, they look at your resume and say "Um, you know you're incredibly overqualified for this, right?"

GEEZ! Thanks, but wouldn't it be nice if other people thought so, too?

So no, call me a snob, but I think I'll pass on the secluded-office-secretary-in-a-cubicle-for-no-pay-and-even-less-human-interaction biznass this time.
...especially because it turns out that benefits and retirement plans don't begin until you've been there for a year.



Monday, June 8, 2009

Tempity temp temp Temping?

At what point, dear friends, do you take a filler job to wait for your dream job to pan out? I mean, it may not be optimal to manage global calendars at a law office for the next ten years, but what if I were to take such a job in the hopes of saving up for rent while I look for the real deal? Hmmm? What about if it offers full benefits and 401k? Working retail isn't exactly offering THAT, or paid vacay.

Come on, career, happen already... Or I might just do somethin' craaaaazy!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Good Times on the Cheap #1

Having fun when you're unemployed is kind of an art form: you don't want to go anywhere you have to spend money. That means that whenever possible, it's no cover, no expenses, no extras. (Even gas gets pricey, but it's LA. What are you going to do?)

I recently scored tickets to the finale of American Idol, where some friends and I had front-row seats to an fantastic show, rubbed elbows with celebs, and just generally had an awesome day...FOR FREE. If you're living in LA, or even NY for that matter, most locals don't even think about going to see TV show tapings. Some fun ones tape in front of live studio audiences, and even if you don't really follow a show (I didn't follow much of this season's Idol), they can still be a kick.

I fee like I'm giving something big away here, but share the wealth, right?
I love the guys at On Camera Audiences. You can find them at http://www.ocatv.com/
but I've also used http://www.tvtix.com/
& http://www.beinamovie.com/ is also great if you have a whole weekend to spare.

-Get there early. Even earlier than you think.
-Follow the rules. If they say don't wear white, don't do it. They'll kick you out.
-Be ready. Some of the best shows I've been to have been tickets I've gotten morning-of.
But really? What else are you gonna be doing? Sleeping in?
I mean, you COULD spend that time applying to jobs or something...but why?

Have Fun!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Gettin' in to that Unemploymentality?

I said I'd give myself a week.

One week, one glorious week of nothing but sunbathing and catching up on trashy TV...a celebration/self-reward for four years of 18-unit semesters and triple-job weeks...and that week quickly started looking like two when I realized that this is supposed to be the real world now. That means that unless I get into career mode, I'm going to be unemployed and homeless forever. While it seems like fun now, down the line: uh, not so much.

So I hit the streets (or electronic streets) looking for a job. In doing so, I've noticed what a lot of people have probably been noticing.
1) there aren't very many jobs out there
2) what jobs there are, SUCK
3) I can't survive in LA on what any business seems to be willing to pay
4) because there have been so many layoffs, hiring managers seem to think that jobs that were once entry-level can now require "3-5 years experience". Which is SO COOL for me. (Ugh.)

Head up, though, it's only been a month. Sure, I haven't even gotten a phone-call response thanking me for my interest in a position yet, but maybe I've just been too picky. I'm in The Zone now. There's gotta be something out there for me. For all of us grads! Dream big!

Go, Team.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Wake up call or lost cause....not sure which.

Well, here I am, less than a month out of college. The sparkle of graduation is gone and the money that came in all those cards from relatives is starting to dwindle.

That's right, I'm looking for a real job now.

As far as firsts go, I think yesterday was a pretty interesting experience. The last couple of days have been in depth attempts to find jobs online, looking everywhere from craigslist, to monster, to www.onedayonejob.com (if you haven't heard of this, go look it up right now. I can't be selfish and keep it to myself). Anyway, imagine hours and hours spent with my laptop, searching for jobs, while simultaneously watching Lifetime movies...It's bound to make you a little desperate. So, in spite of having applied to several decent jobs close to where i live, I also applied for an entry level job as a catering administrative assistant at a Marriott Hotel almost an hour away. With how much it paid, I'd have to live in my car because I would only be able to afford gas and groceries, not rent. Nevertheless, I applied online, and got a message saying that open interviews were going to be held the following afternoon, and decided if nothing else, it would be good practice. So feeling pleased that I had my first real job interview, I laid out my shiny happy interview clothes, and went to bed.

The next day, I got in my car and drove an hour to the hotel. It was in an unfortunately hot part of town, and my shiny happy interview clothes were not quite as cute by the time I arrived. I walked into the hotel and was directed to a back room, where most hotel guests don't ever get to go. It should have been exciting but it wasn't.

Now, I'm not slacker by any means, but I got to the open interview about an hour and half before they were supposed to end. I figured I'd just waited out the early birds and the people who thought they'd come interview for this job during lunch time. So, I was a little shocked to see that there were 40 people lined up waiting to be interviewed.

I stood quietly in line for a sec, weighing my options. Finally I asked the guy next to me if there was a place to sign in somewhere. "Oh, you just need to give them your resume, but they stopped signing people in for interviews about an hour ago", he replied. "How long have you been here?" I asked curiously. "Since 11:30 this morning", he sighed boredly.

I knocked on the HR door, dropped off my interview and left. It's a good thing I didn't want that job too badly. Thirty-nine other people sure did.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

We'll be back after a word...

Well, friends out there in the big, impoverished blogosphere, if you're thinking it's been a while since we've posted, you're right. We've all been crazy these past two weeks: finishing internships, looking for jobs, finals, graduation and the like.

Soooo, we're back...and more homeless and unemployed than ever! Thanks for following us, even during our little hiatus. As we blog now, direct to you from life in the "real world", we promise not to disappoint.


Friday, April 17, 2009

New Neighbor Friends and Rent on the Cheap? Yes, Please!

So making ends meet at this pre-graduation stage is tough, but I'm figuring it only gets harder after you've spent up all the money Grandma sent in your happy graduation card, and your parents have decided they don't think it's cute that you spent your grocery money on a 30-pack of blue Moon, a limo ride to Pasadena, and a new freak'em dress.

Enter Money Saving Tip #1: If you're like us Ramen Diary gals, and you have any kind of skill in planning events/parties/social gatherings, my good friend SP has found a scheme to get you discounted rent. That's right, discounted rent. (I literally just saw everyone reading this lean a little closer to the monitor.)

So this is how it works: You and a friend are going around looking for apartments. If you're looking in a middle to upper range apartment complex, ask to speak to the complex manager/director, what have you.

Tell them that you LOVE, love, this or that apartment, and you think it would be perfect. Then add in that you have an idea that would make their already fabulous apartment complex even more fantastic and enticing for potential tenants. Then tell them if they knock off a little of your rent you will throw weekly or bi-weekly, themed mixers for all of the residents. Granted, it's going to cost you maybe a $200 bucks a month to get supplies for said mixer, but if they're only taking off $200 a month from your rent, they're only out $400, and they've got a totally viable draw for new tenants (especially lonely new college graduates like yourself).

It helps if you can do this in a team of 2 or 3 people because then the apartment complex gets a team of event planners for the price of one. On top of that the kind of events that this would require practically run themselves....wine and cheese parties, luaus, backyard bbq, bingo, (skip the beer pong tourney. You don't want the complex next door to call the cops on all 50 of your neighbors. sorry KN.) You'll have to do a little leg work at the beginning, but after you build up some street cred with your fellow tenants, you're golden.

And on top of getting to meet all of your (hopefully) cool neighbors, you're getting a little leeway on the rent on the DL.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I have been avoiding a certain conversation with my dad for months now. The end result of this conversation could potentially make or break me, offer me a wide variety of opportunities, save me from wanting to kill my mom, save me from wanting to kill myself...essentially, important.

The big question? WHO is paying for May's rent?!...My aunt and uncle pay my rent for me while I'm in school (long and beautiful story that must be saved for another day)...which means summer months are my responsibility. I graduate on May 2nd so TECHNICALLY, May should count as a school month, right? Yeah - I was unsure as well.

Here's the breakdown:
Rent: $1100
Money currently in my bank account: $238
Money needed: $862
Jobs avail after May 2nd: zero.
Monthly income after May 2nd: $0

So...I finally sucked it up and asked...aaand...rent is covered for May!
ONE MORE MONTH OF RENT FREEDOM...this allows me to stay in California to search for jobs so that I can ACTUALLY pay rent.

Avoiding responsibility one day at a time,

Monday, April 13, 2009


...because "free" just tastes better.
Starving citizens of the world, unite! Some friends and I were discussing how we could live off of free samples and put together the following list. You could survive at LEAST a week on this business. (Might help for that post-college transition I'm looking so forward to!) Let me know if there are link troubles!

FREE MCDONALDS COFFEE (the new fancy kind, latte/mocha/cappucino) every Tuesday until 2pm, apparently. Who Knew?
FREE DIET DR. PEPPER done it. SO good.
FREE GROCERIES okay, you have to sign up...and buy things, technically, but I got $10 in free food from Ralphs this month!
FREE DOMINOS CINNASTIX (enter "sweet" at checkout)
FREE CINNABON BITES at any store on April 15 (Tax Day)
Also rumored for Tax Day treats are Chipotle and TGIFridays, but don't quote me.
FREE PRETZELMAKER PRETZEL at any store on April 26 (National Pretzel Day?)
FREE QDOBA with email signup
FREE CHILIS queso dip (loooooove.) with email signup
FREE COLDSTONE CREAMERY on your birthday (sign up for the "birthday club" in-store)
FREE SAMPLES at any Costco. Don't pretend you haven't thought about it.

Now, let's not even talk calories.
Mmmm...I'm just going to go ahead and gain 20 pounds. Deal?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Mini Pani

Mini Pani: "Miniture Panic Attack". To be used when life's stresses do not completely overwhelm you...but are...shall we say..."whelming" you.
This phrase stems from several recent freak outs had by the ramen diary bloggers. A quick and easy term was needed to ensure that all parties understood immediately what the "mini pani" victim is feeling. Some examples:

Sentence: "I am writing a 20 page paper that is due in two hours. I only have 10 pages written. MINI PANI."
Sentence: "I have a final in an hour and I am still drunk. MINI PANI."
Sentence: "Wait...the paper was due today? MINI PANI."
Sentence: "I am graduating in 15 days. MINI PANI."

Love it. Use it.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

College Memories. Fond and otherwise.

I've been very nostalgic lately for college. I think about it, and I sigh over how much I'm going to miss it. It's a little like when you were in highschool and people were mean and petty, and you were insecure and awkward, but somehow 4 years later, you looked back and said "Ahhh, 17. Those were the days..." In reality you spent ages 14-18 acne prone and angst ridden, but that never sticks. So tonight I realized, there are parts of college I definitely won't miss, and I feel it's necessary to document those reasons here for future reference. Here we go.

1. I will not miss going to parties where I have to buy my own beer before I get there. 2 words: Dinner parties. Yes, you buy a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party. No, you don't bring your own personal stash to get hammered on.

2. I will not miss the irrational, screaming, crying drunk friend. I admit, everyone has bad nights, but eventually you reach an age where this is not acceptable. I am sincerely hoping this age is 22.5. The runner up to this one is that friend that won't fucking leave anywhere, be it a bar, party, gathering of 4 people... until 3:30 am. Grow up and go home.

3. I will not miss homework. Once you have a job, you do it between the hours of 9 and 5, or whatever. After that you are free to not think about it until 9 the next morning. This aspect of post-collegiate life makes my mouth water.

4. I will not miss non-dates. Boys in college think pouring you a beer from the keg and putting their arm around you on a dirty couch constitutes a date, although chances are the keg is empty. (see #1) In post college life, dates at least involve a guy buying you a drink at an establishment that has toilet paper in the bathrooms.

5. That reminds me: I will not miss house parties where there is not toilet paper. Enough said.

6. I will not miss SSO. Also known as Small-School Overlap. In certain small colleges you run into the problem that every guy you even look at sideways a) knows 75% of your friends and b) has already made out with 10% of them. I think the drawbacks to this are obvious. It's really unhygenic when you think about it.

7. I will not miss 8am classes.

8. I will not miss attendance policies.

9. I will not miss creepers. The reason I won't miss them is because they never go away, though.

10. I will not miss being poor. It's true, in college I was poorer than I've ever been.

I'm sure the list of things that I will actually miss is innumerable. Friends, adventures, random trips, laugh fests, I could go on forever. For now though, I need something to look forward to, and saying good riddance to these 10 things helps get me through the day. Now, it's time for me to go to bed, so in 6 hours I can get up and deal with my 20-page Senior Thesis. See #3.


Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Morning Hollywood!

In an economic slump where Hollywood seems to be taking the easiest hit, is it really fair for them to capitalize on the suffering of mere mortals? Take the following examples:

1. FILM: Unemployment (Avail. for rent NOW) - two out-of-work actors go out looking for work after their landlord threatens to kick them out if they can't pay. Apparently hilarity should ensue...but doesn't. Maybe it just hits a little close to home?

2. TV: Canned (FALL 2009) - a new workplace comedy in which a group of friends are fired on the same day as part of a corporate shake-up. Love her, but to me there's just something about Amanda Bynes playing anyone down-on-her-luck that I just can't believe.

3. TALK: The Daily Show's "Unemployment Report" - Okay, actually it's funny...oh, Rob Corddry...but still, a few bit roles in a few blockbusters, and I think I'd remain quiet, even if it was for the sake of comedy.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Unemployment Report
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor

Come, now, Hollywood. So long as you're still hanging out in your Beverly Hills Mansions and Malibu Beach Houses, let's go easy on the unemployment stabs, huh? This is my (future) life you're laughing at.
I'm hurt.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Round Table

Today in class we went around the room to discuss what we were doing after college. Clearly not everyone had a job lined up but most people were able to give a pretty solid plan for their future. Normally in these kinds of round table situations I just wait my turn before I even start to think about what to say - I'm better "on the fly." But today, I realized if I did that I would have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY. So I began to come up with lies...such as:

1. I joined the Peace Corps (I also imagined that this would be followed by awed, amazed, and respectful stares from my fellow classmates)
2. I got into Stanford (for what I don't know...but it sounds good)
3. I'm taking a year off and living abroad in Italy...(with no plans...but somehow saying you have no plans but are moving to a foreign country sounds exotic and adventuresome when doing the same thing in America sounds lazy and sucky)
4. I have a job at a place that I cannot say the name of for security reasons

But then, when it was my turn all of those things escaped me...and I was left with nothing but the sad truth...which is that I decided two months ago that I didn't want to actually be a news anchor.
P.S. My major is broadcast news. WHOOPS.

This announcement was met with silence and looks filled with pity and terror for my future.


Monday, April 6, 2009

Now, That's the Ticket!

...How Low Will You Go?

A few weeks ago, I was at a crosswalk as some friends and I were heading home after a long night when a man came up and asked my name. He was relentless...which is flattering, yes....but a little creepy. He seemed nice enough, and after exchanging a few words he asked if he could call me. Needing to get home, I reluctantly agreed.

Fast forward to three weeks later when, after ignoring his phone calls and texts, I receive an exasperated "So...do you like it when boys contact you, when in fact you're completely set on never responding? I'm curious." ...to which I felt like a terrible person for ignoring this poor man and responded (Bad Idea #1?). The rest of the conversation played out approximately like this:

Me: I know. I'm really sorry. It's not that i'm set on never responding...and I'm not a mean person, really...I just don't know what to say, exactly.
Him: How many guys are you currently seeing?
M: Zero...my God, that's not even it. You really do have me all wrong!
H: Well, you're misunderstanding M. See, when I met you you didn't seem like a girl who doesn't know how to communicate.
M: It's true. I'm a terrible communicator these days. Too many balls in the air, you know?
H: Why are you giving me a hard time? Do you work?
M: Mmmm...I'm at job #4 now, actually...And I'm carrying 23 college units.
H: Do you want to make some extra money?

...And so it began.
He called me later that night (picking up = Bad Idea #2?) and his job pitch, before he even knew what I was majoring in, involved him telling me what he did (he holds two very high-paying and moderately high-powered positions) and that he needed an assistant. You know, to "go to events, take notes...maybe be my date. Run errands..."

He then proceeds to explain that he'd pay be $50 an hour.
...and that he couldn't see why he wouldn't throw in a $1000/week shopping bonus.

The conversation got slightly creepier thereafter...but the question remains:
I'm to the point where I can barely buy groceries...and $2000/week would be INCREDIBLE...but am I "ESCORT" material?! That's what it sounds like to me. Is this even legal? Oh, the ethical ramifications!

The saga continues when I go out with this character tomorrow night. (Bad Idea #3?)
I'll fill you in then.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Domino Effect

Soooo...I really set my aspirations high today when I tried to get a job at Dominos. Everything was going fine until I momentarily forgot my social security number. I had to call my dad - which of course led to several questions about why I needed said number. I'm pretty sure he got really excited when I first asked for it - like maybe I was applying for a real job. FALSE...he had a rude awakening when I informed him that my future was in pizza making.

Dad: "Um...no...nope, I definitely don't think that's a good idea."
Me: "Dad - it's cool don't worry about it - it's just for a little extra money."
Dad: "You have a $160,000 education and you are going to work at Domino's."
Me: "ummm...yeah. Just for now though."

Then my mom proceeds to get on the phone to ask some tough questions. Basically she was like "why would you spend 15 hours a week working at a minimum wage job...you should be spending that time actually looking for a job." She then offered to pay me whatever I would make at Domino's to instead spend the time sending out resume's to I guess what they would consider jobs more fitting of my education.

FINE. They have a freaking point. And no - I am not a rich B**** who would allow my parents to actually pay me to look for my own career.

So - in summary: I will not be working at Domino's...BUT...I think it may actually be time to start looking for a job....Woah - what a concept...mom and dad will be so proud.


This isn't desperation it's...trying new things?

So admittedly, I'm getting a little panicky about finding a job. 28 days til graduation and I need to find a way to start supporting myself ASAP. As a result I'm starting to find myself considering jobs I never thought I would want to do.
No, I haven't resorted to taking my clothes off for money...yet. But I have considered starting a social networking site for strippers where they can share advice, bikini waxing remedies, tricks of the trade, etc. Obviously it would be called strippertips.com, but I digress.
No, but in my feverish search for employment I have considered, and applied to some real interesting ones:
Desperate act 1: JDate.com Travel and Event Planning Coordinator
This might not actually be so bad. I am single, so I obviously can relate to everyone who is looking for love out there. I have put on speed dating events before. This can't be too much different, right? Hope they can overlook the fact that I am a) terrified of internet dating, and b) not the least bit Jewish.
On the upside, I love a good latke, and I secretly want to have a Jewish wedding solely so that we can do the chair dance. I'll keep you all posted on whether I make the grade on this one. Oy vey.
Slightly more desperate act 2: Event coordinating Job for a "Themed- supper/ Social Club"
From the title alone, you know there's something unique about this job. Well, before I get to that, here are some details. Paid travel, healthcare, room and board (that's obviously the draw for me personally), fast paced, event planning and restaurant management type work, 13 week contracts, $4,000 a month. So what's the catch, you ask?

It's on a military base. In Baghdad. As in Iraq.

That's right, people. I voluntarily applied to throw themed dinners in the middle of the Iraqi desert. The thing is, it's really not so bad. I grew up on military bases my whole life (Army brats unite!) and there's actually something comforting and safe about living in this little self contained American city in the middle of a foreign country. Not to mention, how cool would it be to say that I've lived and worked in the middle east?

So maybe the lack of food in my fridge has led to a starvation delirium, in which I'm willing to do almost Anything for money, but times are hard, and I'm definitely not ruling anything out. Except maybe stripping. We'll see.


Friday, April 3, 2009

...It's a Darn Good Thing...

Compliments of SomeECards.com

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I'm Going to Live Cheap if it Kills Me

So I'm pretty sure three weeks before graduating from college, most people are not thinking about how excited they are to move back in with their folks. Given however, that moving home is a reality that lots of grads face, I would also be willing to bet that those same people would be even less excited to find out out that not only are their parents ecstatically awaiting their return, but also that these same parents have decided to move...Moving? that's not so bad, you think. Well, now imagine that your parents just told you they're moving to a smaller house in the suburbs, and that you'll be sharing a room with your teenage sister.

Welcome to my life. I'm almost 22, and I'm 3 weeks away from a degree, I have no money saved up, and I'm going to try to keep living on my own if it kills me. So, given the desperation of my current situation, I've had to get a little creative with how I'm going to exist for the next few weeks, months, and years. For starters, I'm looking at jobs that would allow me to live rent free. Enter, cruiseline jobs, and Nanny abroad programs. Yes, that's right, I am willing to swab a deck, change a diaper, or chase around your non-english speaking brood of 12 children if it means I don't have to move home. Okay, so to be perfectly honest, that's not entirely true, but I am applying to work as an activities director on several major cruiselines (might as well get some use out of my PR degree and extensive event planning experience), and though I haven't applied yet, I can think of much worse things than living rent free with a family in Barcelona for a year (even if it is a 6 day a week job).

In the meantime, I'm trying to scrape up some semblance of a nest egg for after graduation, and that involves living on the cheap. Now, there is living cheap, and there is living dirt cheap. Allow me to explain the difference. I have managed not to buy food for 2 weeks at a time. Part of this is due to the fact that I had the flu last week. The other part of this is due to my extreme resourcefulness. For example, in the past seven days I have horded food from staff meetings and potlucks, taken a free on campus cooking class, rationed a working lunch into two meals, and convinced myself that a packet of airplane peanuts constituted a healthy breakfast.

Necessity is the mother of miracles. I'm pretty sure Jesus turning the 5 loaves and 2 fish into enough food for five thousand people, was actually the work of a starving college student who told him how to stretch it by adding water or peanut butter. Anyhow, in the coming weeks, we'll see exactly how cheaply I can survive, and still obtain the essentials that a girl needs in college...like beer, resume paper, and formal dresses.


CEOs Just Love That Heroin

Soooo...nothing like the first big "real job" interview, huh?
I was tipped off on this marketing and media blogging position that I was incredibly qualified for by a coworker, and got called for an interview 24hours after sending in my resume. I won't lie; I was warned that the woman who ran the company was "a little quirky" and had completely hated every interviewee before me, but I felt pretty prepared for what I would be dealing with.

Oh, boy.

Enter small production company office, day. Sat for a while on an old couch in front of an incredibly unorganized receptionist desk before the Company CEO called me in. First, understand this woman was of some unrecognizable age: too much work done on the lips and nose to really tell. Matted hair, kind of shaky, itching like crazy. Now, I don't know a lot about the side effects of recreational drugs...but this woman WAS NOT just "quirky".

She was completely hunched over and for every question she asked, I had to repeat my answer 3-6 times before it clicked. Funnily enough, she seemed to kind of like me (as much as I could tell from creepy twitchy smiles and the occasional jerky nod). When asked about my availablility and if I could start immediately, I told her that I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks...I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks...I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks. She finally called in the receptionist to translate/write down a "chart" for her. After sitting down next to me, she wrote "8am-1pm for next 3 weeks" and was dismissed.

Pretty psyched for things to be looking so good, I was only slightly put off when my (continually itchy) prospective employer first asked if I was SURE I wouldn't be interested in interning("work for me for free?", anyone?! Nope, I'm done with that biz), then let me know that she had to discuss salary with the other company heads and that she would be back to me the next day. As she stood up to give me a nice limp handshake I noticed that A) she probably weighed 82 lbs and that B) her right forearm was covered in blood.

Yep, no...looks like I'll be unemployed for a little longer, then.


Saturday, March 28, 2009


I know, I know. If you hear one more sad “woe is me” story or another complaint about the economic crisis, you’re going to explode, right? The fact of the matter is, things are financially pretty gross right now, but that’s just another reason to make the most of it. A life in which income is questionable, the future is unsure, and in which you are forced every now and then to subsist on Ramen for a few days (weeks?) is still a life to be celebrated, enjoyed, and eventually laughed about.

We are four soon-to-be-college-graduates; well-educated, completely competent, well-rounded…and about to face the world in a worse situation than most graduates before us have ever seen. Jobs openings are few and far between and plans for the future seem to change almost daily. However, we know we're not alone in this and we're determined to make the most out of this time in our lives - and are glad to have you along.

Thanks...and Enjoy!
LC, LA, JR, & KN