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Thursday, April 2, 2009

CEOs Just Love That Heroin

Soooo...nothing like the first big "real job" interview, huh?
I was tipped off on this marketing and media blogging position that I was incredibly qualified for by a coworker, and got called for an interview 24hours after sending in my resume. I won't lie; I was warned that the woman who ran the company was "a little quirky" and had completely hated every interviewee before me, but I felt pretty prepared for what I would be dealing with.

Oh, boy.

Enter small production company office, day. Sat for a while on an old couch in front of an incredibly unorganized receptionist desk before the Company CEO called me in. First, understand this woman was of some unrecognizable age: too much work done on the lips and nose to really tell. Matted hair, kind of shaky, itching like crazy. Now, I don't know a lot about the side effects of recreational drugs...but this woman WAS NOT just "quirky".

She was completely hunched over and for every question she asked, I had to repeat my answer 3-6 times before it clicked. Funnily enough, she seemed to kind of like me (as much as I could tell from creepy twitchy smiles and the occasional jerky nod). When asked about my availablility and if I could start immediately, I told her that I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks...I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks...I would be limited to mornings for the next 3 weeks. She finally called in the receptionist to translate/write down a "chart" for her. After sitting down next to me, she wrote "8am-1pm for next 3 weeks" and was dismissed.

Pretty psyched for things to be looking so good, I was only slightly put off when my (continually itchy) prospective employer first asked if I was SURE I wouldn't be interested in interning("work for me for free?", anyone?! Nope, I'm done with that biz), then let me know that she had to discuss salary with the other company heads and that she would be back to me the next day. As she stood up to give me a nice limp handshake I noticed that A) she probably weighed 82 lbs and that B) her right forearm was covered in blood.

Yep, no...looks like I'll be unemployed for a little longer, then.