College Memories. Fond and otherwise.

I've been very nostalgic lately for college. I think about it, and I sigh over how much I'm going to miss it. It's a little like when you were in highschool and people were mean and petty, and you were insecure and awkward, but somehow 4 years later, you looked back and said "Ahhh, 17. Those were the days..." In reality you spent ages 14-18 acne prone and angst ridden, but that never sticks. So tonight I realized, there are parts of college I definitely won't miss, and I feel it's necessary to document those reasons here for future reference. Here we go.

1. I will not miss going to parties where I have to buy my own beer before I get there. 2 words: Dinner parties. Yes, you buy a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party. No, you don't bring your own personal stash to get hammered on.

2. I will not miss the irrational, screaming, crying drunk friend. I admit, everyone has bad nights, but eventually you reach an age where this is not acceptable. I am sincerely hoping this age is 22.5. The runner up to this one is that friend that won't fucking leave anywhere, be it a bar, party, gathering of 4 people... until 3:30 am. Grow up and go home.

3. I will not miss homework. Once you have a job, you do it between the hours of 9 and 5, or whatever. After that you are free to not think about it until 9 the next morning. This aspect of post-collegiate life makes my mouth water.

4. I will not miss non-dates. Boys in college think pouring you a beer from the keg and putting their arm around you on a dirty couch constitutes a date, although chances are the keg is empty. (see #1) In post college life, dates at least involve a guy buying you a drink at an establishment that has toilet paper in the bathrooms.

5. That reminds me: I will not miss house parties where there is not toilet paper. Enough said.

6. I will not miss SSO. Also known as Small-School Overlap. In certain small colleges you run into the problem that every guy you even look at sideways a) knows 75% of your friends and b) has already made out with 10% of them. I think the drawbacks to this are obvious. It's really unhygenic when you think about it.

7. I will not miss 8am classes.

8. I will not miss attendance policies.

9. I will not miss creepers. The reason I won't miss them is because they never go away, though.

10. I will not miss being poor. It's true, in college I was poorer than I've ever been.

I'm sure the list of things that I will actually miss is innumerable. Friends, adventures, random trips, laugh fests, I could go on forever. For now though, I need something to look forward to, and saying good riddance to these 10 things helps get me through the day. Now, it's time for me to go to bed, so in 6 hours I can get up and deal with my 20-page Senior Thesis. See #3.

-JR